it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
