I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize