Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
