Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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