i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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