i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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