Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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