So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
