Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
