Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You're like the curious george of whores
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
