Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
