I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
