Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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