I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
