I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
