hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
