are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
