he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
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he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
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As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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