You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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