Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Randomize
