i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
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