I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
