The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He has the fingertips of a God
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
