Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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