Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
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I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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