I wish I could punch you in the face.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
