I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
