Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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