we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
