At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
