she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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