sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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