everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
