Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
