My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
