Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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