Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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