Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
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