I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
