Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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