dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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