Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize