so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
