i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
