He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
