Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
