There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
19 Utterly Perfect Responses To ‘Send Nudes’ Texts
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude