it was like his penis was on wheels.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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