We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
