when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
