So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
