Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
