your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
