You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Your cock deserves a montage
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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