He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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