oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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