I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
