we're blogging at a bar
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
accomplished twins. life is a go
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
