I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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